if seeing me blabbering about this event for the past week isn't enough, here is a blog post just to finally put an end to all my non-stop fanboyism for these 2 epic bands haha. (okay, maybe I'm more bias towards one of them but I guess that is too obvious) Anyhow, I probably won't go too much into details about either Mew or Explosions In The Sky (apart from they are epic!) but I'll probably talk about the event itself instead. So yeah... this marks the second time I've been to a concert in my life so far (the first being AFA Malaysia last year) and probably the first concert which is more towards the more "normal" crowds. (if there is such a thing, hahaha...) Why normal? I never really counted AFA Malaysia as being a proper concert since its more or less an anime convention with the concert as their side attraction. (also the crowds are just... different? perhaps?) This is more of a proper gig with nothing but the bands playing right in front of everyone.

Anyhow, the day pretty much started when I left work early to get back home (to clean myself, change clothes and get ready) and went off to KL Live (the venue of this gig) and apart from a small traffic jam at Sunway (well, obviously everyone was coming back from work at the time) I managed to reach KL and the venue on time even though I should've probably left even earlier than I planned! The door was open at 7pm and I think there were already quite a long line when I arrived however I managed to cut the queue a bit after I somehow... made a new friend while I was parking my car lol!!! Somehow after parking my car, another car came and parked beside me and when I got out of my car, the guy beside me asked if I was gonna be watching Mew, and I was... "hell yeah!" and somehow from there I decided to hang out with him for the rest of the concert along with his girlfriend and her friend as well. Also met 2 Canadian chicks while I was there too, but sadly I never really got the chance to talk to them or even get their photos. (one of them was like Asian-Canadian and was named Megan and another one being white but I never talked to her or even knew her name lol) They were more looking forward to EITS, but yeah... was totally random sh*t lol. Anyhow, probably gonna skimp on the details (already said too much, haha) and express how the concert was from my point of view.

It was hard to believe it at first, but I was a bit disappointed to find out that Mew were the first to perform instead of EITS. Despite that I was still really looking forward to their performance, and this being their first time performing in KL I guess they had even more pressure to impress us all. But yeah, I knew that watching them perform live was really gonna be something special. While I did managed to enter the stage around 7:30pm or so, but it took them almost an hour before their performance actually started. (by then the room itself was just packed with people, glad I managed to be one the early ones lol) Surprisingly enough, Mew started out their performance with one of their newer songs, Making Friends, which kinda surprised me as I thought they would be starting out with either Circuitry Of The Wolf or New Terrain but they did eventually play those songs later on in the show. And yeah... their performance was just mind blowing. They mostly played songs from either Frengers or And The Glass Handed Kites and also a few songs from No More Stories but they were definitely focusing more on their last 2 albums instead of their latest one. Also they did play one of their newer songs which might appear in their new album which was pretty cool stuff. All in all, their performance exceeded my expectations and to my surprise it seems there are a lot more Mew fans in Malaysia than I thought! Oh, and the fact that everyone was singing to Comforting Sounds at the end was almost just too good to believe... I still get goosebumps thinking about that moment even as I type this!

After Mew's performance ends it took the organizers and crews another hour to setup the stage for EITS (who are apparently the main performer I guess?) and well, wow... their set is just mind bogglingly good. Sadly I don't really know their songs all that well and I barely even scrobble them as much on last.fm compared to Mew, but I do know one of their hit songs... which the managed to play during their performance. I think I was overjoyed with emotions when I heard the starting of Your Hand In Mine playing, and likewise the crowd just seem as enthusiastic as me regarding this song. Somehow their songs just felt more relaxed and at times... really energetic too. But still... you don't really expect anything less from probably one of the best post-rock bands in the world. Just kinda wish I could listen to them a lot more... if only my iPod and HDD didn't die on me. =/

So after EITS performance ended, it was time for everyone to go back home... well, most of us anyway. I ended up following my "frengers" to grab a bit somewhere and then head back home myself. All in all, despite the ticket itself being a bit overpriced (at RM180 its not cheap for a small gig like this honestly) but I think its worth going just to see 2 of my favorite bands to perform and supporting them in any way possible. Even though their sets do feel a bit short (both bands played roughly 2 hours each) and I didn't get to buy anything much there either (lets just say things were either too expensive or too uninteresting to bother paying up for) nor get to meet up with the bands up close (Mew already left the building when EITS was playing sadly) and get their autographs but I guess I'll just have to be patient and wait for them to hopefully come back to KL and perform their own shows instead. Yeah... definitely looking forward to that!

Yeah... and this is just a small teaser for what is to come. There is also the Urbanscapes main event (which sadly I won't be going because of work, that and I don't have the money to pay for more tickets and I'm not really too keen on the line-up even though I do like some of the bands that is playing that day) which is happening later this month. You can find out more info regarding it here. There will also be another Satellite Show in December which Metric will be performing, but I don't listen to them all that much either! So many concerts, so little time and money. ;_;

Oh, and before I close this post I'll just leave a link below this paragraph. Its just some pics I took during the gig that night. Its nothing much, but the memories that I had that day will never be forgotten. Oh and if you want more pictures or even videos of the concert, I'm pretty sure you can find it on Instagram or Youtube haha. I saw a lot of people recording the event even though the organizers clearly state that you can't record the performance whatsoever. Typical Malaysians... =P

Facebook photos

Sorry for the lack of updates here, I guess I've been kinda busy this month as I finally started working after over 8 months since I quit my last job! As some might have notice me on Facebook and Twitter, I've been doing a lot better during this month compared to the previous few months before, I could probably say this has been by far the best month for me for 2013 so far! Okay, well not exactly that for sure but its been one of the better months I had this year. Anyhow, I probably won't be rambling much here either since I don't really know what to talk about (well not really know, but its like I totally forgot what to write by the time I was free to write this) but I'll try to write something related to the blog title...

But before I go onto that topic I guess I should probably tell how my October was so far. After months of looking for work at many places, during that first week of October I got a message on Facebook saying that this one company was looking for workers at their workshop, and since I was looking for a job in the automotive industry I didn't even have any second thoughts and tried to apply and see what happens. Funny thing is, I actually knew the workshop and even the owner! (it was a few shops away from my previous workshop that I trained in 2011) But yeah, after having a short talk and discussing regarding the job, I started working the week after. So on the 7th of October I was no longer a NEET and once again I am working. Unlike my 2 other previous jobs this was the one that I already had some previous experience with and its pretty much why I went to college for. Even though I haven't worked on cars for quite a while, but on that week or 2 I pretty much got used to it already. Oh yeah, the name of the place I'm working for is called Kaitenaz Racing and its somewhere in Sunway. Its pretty near my house (although I still have to drive to work, but its only roughly a 5 minute drive from my house) and well, I just feel comfortable working there for some reason. Even if its been 3 years since I last worked around there, and even with many things changing since my training... some things still do indeed stay the same. I don't know why, but I just feel like I belong there for some reason, haha...

Anyhow, I don't wanna jinx this job or anything but hopefully I'll last a bit longer with my current line of work. I seriously need the money and experience, but most of all, I just wanna get my life back together somewhat. Which I guess is now a good time to divert your attention to the title of this blog post. So yeah... why am I "stuck in the mean time" then? Its not exactly a metaphor, however its something which has been bugging me ever since I wrote this blog post here. While writing that I did ponder what my life would be if I just went back in time and decided to do things differently back then. What if some of the things that happen in my life... didn't happen at all? But as much as I like to turn back time, its just not humanly possible... heck, it goes against everything about life itself! However, that doesn't mean you can't do all the things in the present like you did back then. As I'm trying to put back together the missing jigsaw puzzle in my life, I'm also starting back to rediscover myself in a way. The things that would make me happy like it was before and extinguish some of my darker times during the past months and years.

I started riding BMX again a few months ago after some random encounters and that urge to do something which I had promised to do for so long (especially after I got my bike stolen when I was still in secondary school) and now that I also got a job as a mechanic around the Sunway workshops my life is slowly coming back together again and hopefully I can move a bit more into that uncertain future of mine. Yes these two things are an important keys to the missing jigsaw puzzle of my life, but puzzle isn't necessarily completed yet. I still have many lingering questions left to answer, and having to settle some other stuff for this year such as my cosplay, DJing, video games and whatnot. (haha, its tough having so many hobbies...) But yeah... I have rekindled one of my old favorite pastimes, I have a job again which its something close to my heart, and I also lost some weight! (went from 105kg to around 85kg currently within 2 months, how is that for a miracle?) Yeah, even with October coming to and end soon I still am looking forward to the next 2 months before the year is over. Hopefully work won't be too stressful and that I can improve and learn even more than what I can do right now, and I can also get some things done before the end of the year... =)

Aaaaaaand I'm just gonna leave this here to end my blog post. I just can't believe they are coming to Malaysia after all these years. Ever since I heard the news that Mew are coming to KL I didn't even gave any second thoughts and got myself a ticket to their gig. Been a fan of them for so long, and to finally see them is almost like a dream come true. I'm definitely gonna cherish every moment that I get to see them perform live this Halloween... =)

These are essentially 2 songs combined into 1, with one playing in normal while another song is played in reverse. As quoted by Bo (or Silas, can't remember lol) "its like going forwards and backwards at the same time" which precisely sums up my life right now.

Finally September is coming to an end. It might have been a long wait, but I guess with all the ups and downs I had to deal with this month, I can finally put it all behind me and concentrate on the next 3 months. October couldn't come any sooner, and November & December are the months that are really important to me to pull everything through. Hopefully I can get a job within the next 2 weeks, otherwise I might be in deep sh*t both financially and planning wise as well. I practically need enough money to scrape my cosplay stuff for Comic Fiesta, and right now I only have enough budget to do 1 costume. However I'll try my best to pull off all the stops and get 2 costumes done in time. Also there is also some other stuff I need to pay up for as well other expenditures so a job is really much needed now, probably more than ever!

Anyhow, I don't wanna rant too much on this post so I guess I'll just keep things short and sweet. Right now I guess I should put the relationship sh*t behind me and just focus on being myself and concentrate on getting a job, as well as my ongoing goal of becoming better at BMX and also lose even more weight than I already have. (losing 15kgs in a month is quite something ya know?) Plus with the cosplay stuff to deal with within November and December I guess I might have my hands busy juggling many things. Work (if I do land a job somewhere), studying Japanese, riding BMX, cosplay, and whatever stuff I will get myself into throughout the remaining part of 2013. At least no one can complain about my life being dull anymore after this...

Also while doing this blog post I managed to found a band called "End Of September" which I have no idea it existed until now. Currently giving them a listen on Spotify and well, its not too bad I guess. Kinda reminds me of Evanescence & Eyes Set To Kill a bit, but its nowhere near hardcore metal stuff with all the growls and sh*t. But its kinda cool listening to something new from time to time... (as if having over 7000 artists/bands to listen to isn't enough!) Here is probably one of their hit songs on Youtube, and you go and decide if its worth listening to or not.

Oh, and I think I'll end this post with this. After riding for the past 2-3 months I finally decided to do something more drastic on my BMX bike and finally replaced the heavy Sunday Bikes hi-ten steel handlebar and fork for these more lightweight and stronger full chromoly Impurity Bike Co parts. I haven't really get to test and abuse them just yet, but I'll find out later tonight if they are worth it. They do make my bike lighter yes, but it also made my wallet lighter as well... xD

To be honest, I never really wanted to write this blog post. But I guess since the month of September is coming to an end soon, I probably got a few more days left to make it count. Also I promised myself to actually do this since last month actually, so I guess I can't back down now that I'm already writing this. Also some might notice this is an "alternate version" of what is basically the same topic and blog title. But I have my reasons why I didn't post the original one up, all will be explained towards the end of this post.

So... what is September Syndrome then? Well... it could probably be about the stock exchange or even about the Usenet phenomenon. But as much as those two topics are related to this blog title, this isn't practically what I wanted to talk about. Nope, this is a more personal September Syndrome. This is probably just me having to deal with the hardship that I had to deal with for over the past month. Sometimes I just wish I slept at the end of August and never wake up until October actually arrives...

But here I am, still awake near towards the end on September having to deal with all the bullsh*t that life throws at me. It has been pretty much a struggle getting my life back together after the relationship fallen apart near the end of August, but at least I somewhat made it. Sure... my life is as messed up as it was back in February, but its only worse now since I'm short on cash and I still have yet to found a job after I quit working at the pub as a DJ. Sometimes I do wonder what if I didn't quit the job and continued working, but then again... I probably won't be here blogging either.

If anyone wondered... what kinda happened after I broke up anyhow? Well, apart from my life being reset to zero again I guess I haven't been doing much to move on, but instead just doing random stuff of interest to pass the time away. Hanging out with family and friends, helping out my mom (mostly), ride bmx and just going online and also occasionally playing video games. Was mostly interested in playing GT5, but there was a week when I played nothing but Valkyria Chronicles from morning to morning for 5-6 days straight haha! After I finished the game which I held back for so long, it was kinda satisfying feeling to help get myself back together. Now I wonder what game I should be playing next. I know GTA V is out now and I do feel like I wanna get one, but I think I might try playing (and finish) GTA IV and Red Dead Redemption on my Xbox 360 first. I've abandoned those games for way too long as well, and I really don't wanna bother with real life and just wanna escape reality, no?

Also besides that, I kinda tried getting a job again after trying to put off for so long. But sadly I never had any luck landing a job yet. So far I already send my resume to several car companies around Glenmarie in Shah Alam, but out of all the places I tried applying I only got 2 responds from there. One was Peugeot which also did an open interview day (when I actually arrived there were already 55 other people who actually was applying a job there too!) on Sunday (which also clashes with a certain someone's birthday party, as well as my brother's birthday) and well, I guess it went okay. Although I did kinda screw up the entire plan that day (especially regarding that one person's birthday party, but she didn't seem to care about me at the time that is a given) but at least I somewhat survive the whole ordeal. Then there was the interview with BMW the following day and well... it was quite an eye opener. After having a lengthy talk with the head of aftersales, he kinda told me to go and chase my dreams instead of applying work there and maybe not handle the pressure of being a technician. Although I do get what he was saying, but since I'm kinda short on cash and support from anyone I was hoping I could at least work and earn the money and miraculously get myself into some sort of racing program. Either way, both companies told me I might get a call within next week or so for a second interview. However if I don't get a reply within the following week I guess I'll try applying elsewhere, heck I might even have to settle working with some smaller workshop in Sunway if I have to. Sure for my qualification I should be getting more pay or whatever, but since its not getting me anywhere I guess I should just apply anywhere where they can accept me and just have to deal with the shitty pay and long working hours. I need to sacrifice myself and my time anyhow, I've been living my life as a NEET for way too long...

Apart from the interviews, another sort of good news was I managed to pass my Japanese level 2 a few weeks back. (some might have noticed it on FB, Instagram and/or Twitter) Since I managed to passed I was thinking if I should continue or probably hold back until I could get a job first, but seems like my parents were keen on seeing me continue and so... with my parent's blessing (and their money) I decided to continue my Japanese class and just last Monday I started my level 3. There were also 2 other classmates that managed to pass so at least I'm not alone in the class with my sensei, haha. At least with this, I can somewhat still have some hope of moving to Japan even though financially wise right now its not really possible. But I think judging from my first class its not gonna be easy. Definitely more difficult than my previous 2 levels. On the upside, if I do managed to master my Japanese within the next year or 2, I can really open up the possibilities of living in Japan as a student (actually I do plan on continuing my studies, but as I'm financially not able to I wanted to work first and build up my experience here before moving there and maybe get a degree or master... if the need arises that is) or even get a job in the automotive industry there. (pretty sure its a lot better compared to here in Malaysia) All things aside, I should not get too carried away on my future and just focus on the present for now. Try my best to get a job somewhere and also do my best to cope up with my Japanese classes.

While the previous 2-3 paragraphs kinda doesn't really seem like I'm sad or unhappy, but as I said... its only for me to past the time. Happiness doesn't really last long in reality, and I can easily just get depressed over something within seconds or minutes after that something happen, and here I go now blabbering about my emo sh*t lol. While it might only been a month, many things did kinda happen to both of us know? I don't know much about her side of the story, but judging from the way she tweets and posts on FB she does seem to do a lot better than me in a way. In a way I do feel kinda glad she is doing a lot better than me, and at least she does seem like she has a sense of purpose in life now. Someone like me will just drag her down and stop her from doing what she really wants to do anyhow, and despite her parents still being the same at least there isn't much drama (as I noticed anyhow) as when I was with her during the past 6 or so months when we were together.

Maybe I'm just a nuisance to her after all? I guess after I did block her on FB/Twitter things started to turn bad between us, and seems like even when I did unblock her things only got worse each time we talked. I don't really know why, but I practically always end up being in an argument with her whenever we talked be it in person, on FB/Twitter or even sms so I guess I kinda gotten the cold shoulder since she started ignoring me some 1-2 weeks ago. Its kinda understandable really, as I don't really wanna talk to her right now either for fear of upsetting her even more. Despite some of the stuff she posts or chat with that certain someone who she loves to be with ever since we broke up pisses me off a lot, but its her choice really and maybe I should try to be more understanding. (I'm kinda bad dealing these kind of things, and I still regard this as my first ever break-up so I can't really tell myself what to do here) Anyhow, its gonna take me a really long time to get over this feeling and I hope with all the stuff I need to focus on now I can get my mind off this whole bullsh*t and get my normal life back together. Also I hope its the same with you too, and with your SPM just around the corner I do hope you don't have other people distracting you. (I clearly am trying my best to do that anyhow, just so you might know)

In the end, it doesn't matter what you wanna say about me or if you wanna erase me from your memories. Do keep in mind that I will never forget you or the times that we were together, but I think I'm losing hope of being with you again as the days, weeks and months passing by. At least you seem happy being with someone else at the moment (even though you kept saying he is just a friend), and you already have plenty of friends both online and in real life to be with so I have less reasons to worry about you. As for me, I'm just gonna stay single for as long as I can and keep chasing my dreams and goals. Also I do have my own family and friends to be there with me, so its not like its gonna be the end of the world for me. (not yet anyhow) I'm not really sure if we'll be able to meet again, and even if we do meet up again I really am not sure how the situation is gonna be then. Will you already be with someone else by then? Will you be come running back to me? Whatever the situation is, I hope neither of us have any bad feelings regarding each other when we do see each other again. Sure I might have caused a lot of problems for you and also some of your friends, and I really do apologize for all the misunderstandings and wrong doings I've done to you and your family and friends. Not sure if you ever regretted being with me, but I sure don't and in fact, I feel really bad for mistreating you during some of those times that we were together. Its gonna be difficult to find someone else to replace you after this, but I'm gonna be pretty damn sure you will be the last Malay girl I'll ever be with if I have to move on. (yes, there might be a small possibility that I might end up with another Malay but I think I already clearly set my mind that I don't wanna be with another Malay after this. Only if a few certain conditions needs to be fulfilled before I can even consider, and even then... its a small likely chance I'll accept her)

Relationships can be tough I guess, but this is all a part and parcel of life for everyone. Sure some might live their lives much easier than others, but at least I did learn a lot along the way that might help be become a better person. Hopefully I can continue on after this and set my priorities on what I really wanna do. So far my short term goal is definitely landing myself a job, lose more weight and try to get myself fit and get better in bmx as well. There might also be a few other smaller short-term goals in mind, but I don't think its worth mentioning here just yet. Oh, and before I end this post soon I'm kinda sure some of you might wanna know why this is an "alternate version" and not the original. The reason why I kept the original post and not post it up is because I just have too much "hate" written in the post and I think it will make the situation look a lot worse than it is now. Not really sure if I'm gonna post it elsewhere or just keep it in my computer, but lets just say that some things are better left unsaid. =)

Anyhow, thanks for reading everyone. It might just be a repeat of some of my previous blog posts but its still no less a blog post regarding my interestingly mundane life. On the bright side at least September is coming to and end soon and I can definitely look forward to next month. With just a quarter of 2013 left many good things can come my way and I will definitely be focused on getting some things done in the next few months! Just gonna end this post here with this video here. It doesn't really mean anything now, but I guess its a bittersweet way to end this post.

Haha, honestly its been a while since I last did a review like this on my blog but I really wanted to do this one since the movie was just too good to pass up writing upon. There is nothing more I like than a good "car" movie, one which actually is based around Formula 1 and has a certain truth to it! There has been a lot of rivalry in F1 over the years, and although the rivalry between James Hunt and Niki Lauda isn't as intense as say, Ayrton Senna and Alain Prost, Rush managed to show everything great about F1 in the 70's. Where the drivers drove like real men, risking their lives race after race, and what happens on and off the track is all about personality and self expression. Its not like today where everything is so well organized and having regulations spoiling the fun.

Anyhow, I don't really wanna go into too much detail regarding F1 or even about the movie but basically the movie is about the heated battle between James Hunt and Niki Lauda during the 1976 season and what they had to deal with throughout the season. There is plenty of action throughout the movie and the racing itself is pretty good too! (its F1, what do you expect?) You're not gonna see some CG overload or one of those cheesy scenes like in Fast & Furious, oh no... this is all pure balls out racing and nothing else. Also there is nothing sweeter than the sound of a Formula 1 engine either, haha. So the story itself is pretty good, the characters are also portrayed very well to their real life counterpart (Chris Hemsworth as James Hunt & Daniel Brühl as Niki Lauda respectively) and the soundtrack (done no less by the ever talented Hans Zimmer) and you already have a recipe for a really good movie. I would gladly say this is probably one of the movies to watch this year and I won't be too surprised if this movie won an award or two.

While watching this movie throughout, I can say I feel very satisfied watching this. All sorts of emotions just went through me and at the end I just felt very inspired. This movie will teach you a lot regarding how dangerous motorsport really is and what it takes to become a racing driver, and that you really need to have the balls in order to take a car such as those F1 cars in the 70's and push it way past the limits. Somehow I wished I could be a racing driver back then and even be in their shoes for a bit. Its dangerous, but as quoted by the late James Hunt; "The closer you are to death, the more alive you feel" and I think this the more reason why I wanted to become a racing driver. Sure things today might have been more safer and restricted, but it doesn't make it any less dangerous! (as proven by the passing of the late Allan Simonsen at Le Mans last June) So yeah... I'd rather risk my life as a racing driver than to live a boring and mundane life like everyone else. (but I guess I'll save that for another blog post in the future)

Overall... what do I think about the movie? I'd say its fabulous and totally worth watching. Sure it might not be for everyone, but you can still appreciate all the effort they put into making this movie and judging by the reviews, its been praised quite well actually. So yeah... its not a matter of if you like cars or F1 or even racing in general, (it helps a lot if you're into it though, lol) but once you've watched this then you know what was so great about F1 or pretty much anything motorsport related things were back then (and maybe to a certain point, even today) and who knows... maybe I'll inspire you to break your boring habits and try to do something adventurous for once?

I'll probably give this movie an 8 out of 10, maybe even an 8.5 if I'm cheeky. Only thing why I can't give it a full 9 or even a 10 is only because I feel like the movie is a bit too fast (to me anyhow) and somehow during the time I watched at the cinema they had way too many parts being cut out. (there are other reasons too, but its not worth pointing out) I guess I'll have to wait until the blu-ray release to be out so I can enjoy watching this again. =P

So really... who am I?
I'm not the person who I used to be.
Then what kind of person was I?
For all I know, I am not me.

So where did it all go wrong?
Does changing or remaining the same come at a cost?
On the outside I might look normal and strong,
But deep inside, I'm broken down and lost.

I might have many hobbies and personalities,
But as many "me" as there is, I'm still one person.
As much as I don't like dealing with problems and responsibilities,
I still have to carry on living my life, and for what reason?

They say you could be anything you want.
Quite sadly though, nothing is easy as it seems.
The reality is, my dreams are only dreams... nothing different.
Like a fictional story, being published by the reams.

If I could find the old me somewhere within myself,
I would tell him to wake up and help my current self.
If knowledge is like a book, then life is like a bookshelf.
I could go back in time to live my old life, then again... I'm not an elf.

To be in the present, finding my past to move on to the future,
Then what do I do if I managed to found myself from long ago?
Would I dither about moving forward into an imminent world which is obscure?
I don't know... only time will tell if its worth a go.

"Will the real Muzaffar Musa, please stand up" is what I always wonder,
And I wonder... when will the real Muzaffar Musa revive back to his former identity?
Many people might know me for many things, some more than others... I ponder.
I think no one knows the real me, me included. In darkness, with no electricity.

Back to the question of my origin, regarding yours truly.
Am I really am still the same person today?
Its hard to imagine, but I can't answer it truthfully.
Because I might not be the same person in another day.