I don't really feel like writing this post actually, but somehow I think writing this on Facebook and/or Twitter won't justify what I wanna say after this. So yeah, I just got my salary for this month and also thankful that my BR1M (short for "Bantuan Rakyat 1Malaysia", or "1Malaysia People Aids") which the government suppose to help the people by giving them financial "support" so do speak. (the terms and condition for getting the financial support differs from each person depending on status, job salary, etc. but I won't go into too much detail regarding this. So you just have to Google it if you wanna know more) But even with this, I just somehow feel kinda disappointed I'm still not earning enough to cope with my spending. (or well, plans as I'll explain later in this post)

I'm going to be 23 this year, and with my current job as a mechanic I've already been working for 5 months by the end of this February. (which is honestly, much much longer than my 2 previous jobs which I barely last more than 2 months!) I really don't wanna compare with my other more "successful" friends out there, but comparing how much more successful they are, I just wonder where in life did I go wrong? I know I already graduated from my college over 2 years ago and suppose to have a more successful job with my qualification, and yet because I choose to do something "different" for 1 year and ended up not being happy with my alternative jobs I somehow ended up wasting that 1 year doing nothing. Maybe that is what I did wrong all along, but I was probably too blind to realize it back then... (that and maybe I just have bad luck, lol) Then again, maybe if I never got those 2 jobs I probably won't even know what its like to have "other" jobs besides being involved with cars like I do now. Who knows? Maybe (just maybe) I have to be a little more patient for things to work out. Somehow I always regard myself as a "late bloomer" when it comes to doing everything, and some stuff in my life are just that.

Anyway, I don't really wanna blabber about my life stories again and really wanna express more about my financial situation here. At my current rare, I'm roughly earning (less) than RM1k per month with my current job (actually I was suppose to get a new contract with my current job as my working probation actually ended last December, just that my boss forgot about it for 2 months straight! However I doubt I could get a raise just yet. Then again... only god knows if I do get a raise or if my salary remains the same) and with my daily expenditure on food, transport (well, glad my mom still helps with my petrol from time to time) and also the occasional "spending on useless stuff" which I have no idea why I still do, I might have roughly RM600-700 saved before my next paycheck arrives. (also my parents still to give me an "allowance" just to keep myself floating somewhat, yeah... I'm lucky my parents still can support me lol! I know, I know, its kinda bad having to rely on my parents at this age and with a job!) Currently I have roughly less than RM2k in my bank (still haven't banked in my salary yet, but probably will do soon) with that money going to be used next month to buy myself a plane ticket to Japan in December, and I still have roughly no idea how much the plane ticket will be or how long I want to stay there. (because now I wanna stay there for 3 weeks instead of 2 to catch both Comiket & Tokyo Auto Salon as well as spend more time exploring Japan during that time, haha!) I know I have a short time to decide this because for one... this promotion is happening and is gonna end within a few days, or take a gamble and go to MATTA Fair and hope they sell "cheap" flight tickets there too! Argh... life can be unfair at times lol.

Then there is also the issue with my car, since well... I wanna do up my car this year too lol.I have so many plans to do to my car actually (and already did some actually, more on that maybe sometime next month) which include getting new suspension, wheels, tires and also do back my car's bodywork a bit. Yeah... this is probably which is gonna deplete my budget to Japan a lot actually lol, But yeah, so many plans and yet... so little money. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I'm really cutting down on my other activities this year. I can probably say goodbye to my cosplay plans, my computer and probably what other plans I had regarding my expenses for that matter! *sigh* I don't know, I just have too many things to think right now. But whatever it is, I just hope I can save up enough money from work this year (that is, if I'm still working until the end of the year) and save up fro Japan and my car for that matter! Anyhow, I'll try to touch up on this post again soon hopefully. Just got sidetrack by my stupid post on FB lulz.

or 2014 if you don't understand Japanese lol. Anyhow, I know I didn't really posted anything for the past 2 months nor do I even wanna do a re-cap of 2013 (I guess I could do a bit, but probably not gonna be really as detailed as I wanted) but yeah, just wanna say a (belated) Happy New Year (and Lunar New Year as it has passed roughly a week ago) to all my blog readers and whatnot. Still kinda surprised I still get views even though I do almost absolutely nothing to this blog, hahaha...

Okay... so I've just been busy with my real life I guess. Can't really say how "busy" I'm actually am (probably could say I'm just lazy at times) but with work being work, and having so many friends and such, I do rarely stay home like how I did last time. Also I'm still amazed at how time just flies when your pretty much standing still. Before I know it, Comic Fiesta was done and dusted, New Year passed in a flash and the Lunar New Year ended in an instance, not to mention boundless of things happening in between! But yeah, time can be both a blessing and a curse. Too fast for you to enjoy doing what you like, too slow for things to happen. Such is the wonders of life huh? =P

2013 has been a good year to me, and kinda glad I managed to do a lot of things during that year. Although there were some ups and downs throughout that year, but towards the end of 2013 I finally managed to do a lot of things that I set my goals on for that particular year. Managed to lose weight, start riding bmx again, and also got a more comfortable (and more realistic) job! Yeah, its pretty hard to top 2013 as one of the best years of my life, but somehow I get the feeling that this year will be even better. All the better when I have some goals to achieve this year. Although some goals might be harder to achieve than others, at least its better to have a target than to have nothing at all to do.

• Go To Japan
although probably one of the most random and unexpected of plans to do for this year, but after having discussed with several friends (and also seeing some of my other friends enjoying their trip to Japan) I really need to go there. Its probably now or never... xD (the thing is, I'm still planning everything there is to do there even as you read this post but regardless of budget or condition I'm still going!)

• Lose (even more) weight!
yeah, that's right! Even if I did manage to lose 20kgs last year (from 105kg to 85kg) I still think I need to lose a bit more. Although my target for last year was actually 80kg (missed it by 5 kilos, haha), for this year however I wanna take it up a notch and try to reach 70 kilos! Not sure if its even possible as I can't lose any more weight when I was still on my "keto" diet and daily exercises (and even tried slimming pills for that matter) but ever since I started working I had to stop my diet and heck... even starting back my old habit of eating a lot is coming back. (some habits refuse to die, know?) But regardless, I'll see what I can do to lose more weight. Of course, surgery is definitely out of the question but I may start dieting again once it is time.

• Mod up my car (even more)
yeah... its one thing that I neglected to do ever since I owned Kuro Tenshi, (yes, I gave my car a name lol) but since my car will almost be 5 years old (of ownership that is) I thought I should treat my car something special before its birthday (or well, the day since ownership that is lol) with some plans I had in mind. I won't really discussed it here on this post, but I'll update about it on my FB or Twitter regularly so you can find out more there.

• Improve my Japanese language
I know some might not have known this, but I actually have studied Japanese for over a year now! Yeah, kinda surprising how I always wanted to learn the Japanese language years ago and here I am now actually learning it and can even converse in Japanese (albeit, still nowhere near as good) with actual Japanese people! Haha... its funny thinking about how I first started the class and pretty much know a lot about the language compared to the others that were in the classroom! But yeah, I really should thank my brother for enrolling me to this class in the first place (for more info, you can check the place out here) and also my parents for supporting me both financially and mentally. I might not be the best student in class, but I'll try my best to make use of this language when I go to Japan at the end of this year... as well as when I "might" move to Japan there someday. =)

• Getting better at riding BMX
Although its not necessarily a goal, but its just something that I wanna improve at. I know I have stopped riding for several years during my high school days (no thanks to that certain thief, or whoever it was that stole my bike!) however since I started riding again towards the end of June last year, I'm actually doing pretty well (by my standards I guess, lol) and even did far better than I did when I first started! Also made quite a lot of new friends in the BMX community (as if I already had enough friends in the other communities) and getting fit in a way. Sadly I can't stay fully committed to riding like how one of my school friend did (he is now actually considered a "pro" in the local BMX scene) but at least my passion is still there... somewhat. I don't know if I'll ever be as good as him, but the least I could do is ride along with him and enjoy the experience. Although with that said, I really need to look out for myself and not get injured too much. >_< (already had a few scars, and now my knees are acting up)

Yeah... just "some" of the goals I made for myself this year. I might have more goals in mind however I don't think its all that important (or realistically achievable for that matter). Also if you might noticed I kinda slowed down on my whole "DJ" career thing as I don't think DJing will work out for me here in Malaysia. That and well... a lot of my equipments and music are pretty much gone. (laptop is giving problems and my iPod is dead, so I pretty much lost a lot of music) I do plan on restarting again someday (and might even dab into producing and also restarting my netlabel) but for now, I have other more important stuff to concentrate on. With that said, I'll try to record some mixes for some small(er) online events if I can, but sadly I kinda strayed away from the J-Core scene a bit. (yeah, I guess I should be ashamed of myself but I have way too many interest, and my interest in music is just as varied. So don't judge me!)

Also I might slow down my cosplays a bit as well since it really has eaten up my budget last year and its not really a worthwhile hobby. (to be honest, its just too expensive and pointless lol) I had so many plans to cosplay a lot of characters this year, but seeing with my job not paying me enough to break even as well as my 2 other main objectives (Japan & my car) I might not be all that active in the ACG scene this year. (well, I wasn't really all that active last year either honestly, only made 2 costumes just for CF!) Maybe I'll still cosplay at certain events as the same characters I already cosplayed (or borrow costumes from friends or whatnot) but since I'm also working on Saturdays I might miss out on a lot of events too this year. Meh... I think cosplay is the least of my worries, and as the days and month passes I could plan it out somehow.

and so... with all that said, thanks for reading my blog once again and I'll try my best to update the blog (somehow one way or the other) even with my busy work schedule and social life. Enjoy the rest of 2014 and do keep set your sights on your goal regardless how stupid or impossible it may seem. I didn't give up on my dreams either, and despite growing older every year... I do end up being more wiser as well. (okay, that statement was total bullsh*t) Either way, goals or no goals... life is still worth living. Whether you had a good or terrible start to the year, its not all that important. The important thing is to keep moving and treat the next day even better than the day before! (well, its only a phrase. I know I had some "off" days too but after a while I'll tend to look at it positively) Anyway, I think I have written enough for today. I might have missed out on some things (that and/or I can't be bothered, whatever) to talk about, but at least I finally got to finish this blog post! (actually I planned to write this around New Year/January but I never found the time and/or can't be bothered up until now) Haha... yeah, so typically me. =P

P.S. I actually did plan to write another blog post and make it more personal, but let's just say I totally gave up on that. I don't know whether you are reading this or not, but if you do... I wish you all the best in your life as well. I know both of us have our on separate lives and interests, and even if we still do hate each other... I just wanna let you know that its totally over. I'll forgive and forget whatever you did and likewise I hope you do the same too. I ain't gonna bother you anymore if that is what you want, and hope you are happy with whatever it is that you wanna do. I might still be a bit jealous, but you know what? It doesn't really matter anymore, I'll find someone better... and I'll try to make my sh*tty life more worthwhile than it is now, so we'll see who gets the last laugh aite? =)