Archive for January 2010

January 2010 might be over but...

...that doesn't mean I still can't write about my 2009 experience! Haha, well I know this has been long overdue, but I guess its finally time to write about the experiences, both happy and sad, sweet and bitter, short and long, uplifting and depressing, yada yada yada, you get the point. So how was 2009 for me in a brief statement? Well, I guess all I can say that it has been one hell of a roller coaster ride for me...

Now I might not talk about everything in 2009 (well, you could always just check my 2009 posts for better details as well as some good reads) but mostly just want to summarize what I have managed to accomplished during 2009, mainly for what I wrote for my "new years resolution" and such.

Starting of with earlier in the year (in 2009 of course) with me getting my drivers license on my first try, I was really really happy that after nearly waiting for my entire life to get to drive a car I finally got the chance to do it in real life! All those times playing video games has paid off aplenty I guess, hahaha. Also probably the biggest news for that year was that I finally took up going to college at The Otomotif College. It was also my dream (albeit, not my biggest goal) to learn a thing or two about cars and becoming a tuner myself and so far I guess its been quite good in a sense that I have really learned a lot about cars then I should really know. Did I ever regret going to college? In a way, I do have to say yes since I don't think learning this would have helped me much and that it cost a whole lot of money (which mind you, cost around RM45k!) just to enter and that I just think I will go nowhere even if I do manage to get my diploma. But that doesn't matter anyhow, since my parents are already fully committed in funding my studies so all I have to do now is just do my best, and hope for the best!

Another thing that I should have pointed out also was back in September my father told me he was getting a car for me. After getting the load processed as well as the road tax, the documents and all that other crap, I finally go the car! A Hyundai i10 (which I still think is a crappy car even to this very day) is what I got (and what I'm currently driving) and so far I guess its an ok car. Yes it sucks that its front wheel drive, it barely makes even 50HP from a 1.1 liter engine and worst of all, the car is still considered "cheap" even if the car cost about RM40+k brand new! The f***? But whatever I guess, I just have to abuse the car (already broke the left hand side mirror lol) until I have enough money to buy and modify my own damn car! So yeah, my goal of becoming a drifter by last year has definitely faded, but that what makes me want to get into drifting even more!! I don't care what people say, I still want to be a professional drifter at all cost!!! Be it in Formula D or D1 Grand Prix, my ultimate goal lies there somewhere (hopefully) in the near future.

This was the least expected thing to happen to me last year, but after almost years of not thinking of buying a next-gen console, I finally broke the silence and got myself an Xbox 360 late last year. Hahahaha, I know I spoiled myself a lot there, and the money could be used on other better things but I was really craving to play video games after looking at videos of Forza 3, Need For Speed: Shift, Bayonetta, Halo 3: ODST and the likes and at that instant I just can't say no now can I? Certainly it was a better move than to buy a PS3, Wii, a gaming laptop (which was way well overbudget anyhow) or even upgrading my current pc (but I did upgrade it from time to time still) to support these new games. But then again some games were made for the Xbox 360 anyhow, so heh, it ain't such a bad thing. Good thing was also the newer version of the 360 doesn't suffer the fatal RROD that earlier models had.

Of course there are other less important things that I would like to talk to regarding what I've done, but I don't think I want to bore many people with my grandfather stories hahahaha. But yeah, that is about it for this post I guess. I'll probably not gonna make a new years resolution for this year, as even if this is only January, too many random things just happened in my life for my brain to really comprehend and the fact that I missed posting it by almost a full month means that I should just forget about it and just let things happen as time pass by. =D


I might not be exactly be nineteen just yet at this moment (will be in half a years time) but I still acknowledge that this is the year that I will finally break the 18 year old age bracket of being between a teenager and a pre-adolescent or whatever it is that grown-ups like to call it. As my brother said to me over the phone (albeit, not his exact words), "your gonna be nineteen now, your no longer a kid or a teenager, your gonna be an adult!"

(skip to paragraph 7 for the actual post)
To be honest, I think these past few days has been really difficult for me to handle. After all the problems that I caused over Facebook a few days ago (which got almost all my family involved) I don't think I ever want to relive that moment ever again. I know I can get emotional very easily over something "stupid" or just over any sensitive topics, I "snap" and I have no control over what I think, do or say. Its almost like "another me" just took over my body and start doing this thing without my other self being helpless to do anything to stop it! Well, it might all just be an excuse for my retarded and foolish action or it really is a problem with myself. I don't know anything, only god knows everything that has, will, and currently happening to me.

I will admit that when things get too hard for me to cope with or problems which just feels too much for me to solve, or just some things which I never liked facing up to I always think to myself, just end it already! Yeah, I have always had a thing or two for "suicides" and have been thinking about doing it many times throughout my life. For that reason its why I think to myself being an emo kid, trying to be like one, dress like one, and has definitely acted like one ever since I could remember! But forget about that though for now, I just want to talk about how I feel over these past few days. Anyhow back to the suicide thingy, I have tried to "commit" suicide (from just writing about it to almost doing it!) as well as try to think very negatively and hurt myself, not care about everything (and I mean everything!) and you know, do what people do when they feel depressed.

I think I just had cause too much problem to myself, my family, everyone that I know and especially her (who exactly, I'm not telling) just by these mere thoughts. I thought people do not actually care for what I post (since well, I never received any feedback from anyone ever!) but how wrong it was to post those things a few days ago. Even with those comments being deleted, those who read it (and especially commented on it) already know what I was going through, and I think by then it was just to late to do anything. Its not like you could turn back time, or even make everyone forget about it but as life goes, we just have to move on and try to forget about the past...

Continuing on, as this year I'm gonna really start reaching adulthood I should try to act like an adult myself and not do these teenager stuff any more, start having more responsibility for all my actions and make decisions based on my knowledge and good judgments and not from my feelings and from my heart. But in reality, am I good enough to become a good adult? Am I ready for the real life? I'm too used to dreaming a lot and has always thinking about "living in my own world" and think of reality as just a bad nightmare. I couldn't care less about anyone, myself or whatever it is around me (and I admit, I still have these thoughts inside my head) and yet somehow, reality has to come down on me like a ton on brick, wake me up and remind me that all these nightmares I have experienced has always been real.

How life's lesson could be a cruel teacher, don't you think? I have come to realize this many times over, and yet I still ignore this fact in scorn. Why you ask? Its a bit hard to believe, and just like how my father doesn't like to admit his mistakes, I just never really could care about it. So, will history repeat itself then? Maybe, maybe now, who knows? Oh I don't even know what I'm saying here haha... I'm just typing what I know, and how I feel right now. Its just how I like to post on topics like these anyhow, hence why its called a "random thoughts" post.

Okay okay, maybe I have gone too far with what I actually wanted to say. So like, as I was gonna say... I'm just having a hard time coping with everything that has happened to me right now. Never thought 2010 was gonna be a tough year, I feel like breaking down too many times now and its not even the end of January! I might be weak, I might be unstable, I might be this, I might be that, bla bla bla, its just all excuses! Then what is wrong with me then? It this one of god's test to see if I break under the pressure, and break the contract? Will I take my own life just to end this pain? One thing is for sure, I'm not ready to give up on this life just yet! I might have caused a lot of problem, I still would not care about myself or everything else, I might not even know where my life is gonna end up in the future, or even know where my footing in the present is or what my past has taught me but one thing is for sure... I'm still alive right here at this moment, and I still have that one big goal in the sky that somehow I think I will never reach, but with time, maybe... just maybe... someday, I'm gonna reach that goal and finally say that I succeeded in life!

The goal you asked? Its nothing much to be honest, but it is a bit like "reaching for the moon" if you think about it. Well... its becoming a race driver. Had this dream for a very long time, and hasn't changed much since then. From when I first knew about cars, from watching my first F1 race at Sepang with my parents, from playing my first racing game on the Play Station, even up until now when I'm in an automotive college learning about motorsports, its still the same goal. Although the goal has changed a bit (from being an F1 racer when I was young, to being a professional drifter that is now) it still is practically the same, and that is to become a professional race driver. So like, how is my progress on reaching this dream of mine then? As far as I can say, probably not much. But compared to like 5 or 6 years ago I think its far more realistic than I thought.

So yeah... how is my current life in 2010 then? Apart from that drama earlier on I guess everything is fine I guess. So far my first week in college in 2010 has been good. The DMS class that I am in right now is really good compared to my more normal class which I learned all my core subjects, learned a few thing or two from my instructor regarding not only about the subjects that I'm learning right now, but as well as some tips on becoming a tuner as well as some other things that we should know as a mechanic, haha. Will have the usual theory and practical exam for my subject in 2 weeks time, but more importantly I will have my SIT exam (SIT meaning something like on the job training) which will determine whether I could work at a workshop or not. I already know where I'm gonna do my SIT (which is thankfully near my area) at a workshop called ES EVOLUTION. I haven't seen the workshop myself or confirmed to work there for my SIT just yet, but if everything goes to plan then I should be working there without much problem.

Think I write too much here? Well I think the same as well haha. Well... I guess this is just about it (for now) I guess. If I missed a few other things to say, hopefully I would write those thoughts on another post then. I did say I have a lot to write, but I never realized I wanted to post this much. I mean I still have my 2009 review to write about, as well as my "new years" resolution and some other things as well but I don't know... maybe if I have a lot of spare time and brain cells left (meaning, if I could think about it haha) then maybe I will write them before January ends, so what do you think? Sounds good to me, hehe. =D

So anyhow, with this title being called "19" I guess it would be appropriate if I post where I got this title from:

Tegan and Sara =

Oh, and one last personal message going out to that certain someone (hope you will be reading this):
I'm sorry that I caused so much trouble for you over these past few days, and I'm sorry that I should have admitted my feeling to you much much sooner, for none of these would have happened if I told you that "I love you" before you told me about your past . I know you might think that I'm not yet ready for this or that I'm still a "n00b" but honestly, I couldn't care less about all those things. Even if we have never seen eye to eye just yet, let us hope and with gods blessing that we do get to meet each other some day, and that both of us can settle our differences, reconcile and maybe even turn over a new leaf? I don't know... maybe I was being a coward for saying those things to you, or maybe I overreacted too much, but I'm so so so sorry for all this. Although you did say it wasn't my fault and that it was you who should be sorry, but in truth none of us are actually right nor wrong...


was it all just a dream? was it a terrible nightmare that you people call "reality"? Or was it just something that is beyond my control?
I don't know people...
I don't care any more...

Whether you still want to see me live, see me fall to my death, be good friends, be more than just friends, whatever it is, you decide. I'll let you to decide, and fate to approve it...

College, and some random bs...

After being on holiday for about over a month, today was the day that I finally went back to college this afternoon. Sadly our class got changed to the afternoon session for some reason... There weren't many things changed when I was there (or that I was absolutely blind haha) but the biggest change for was really, to be in a new class with some similar faces as well as people from the other session joining the class.

Well as I did mentioned in my earlier post, my class got changed after some altercations with the course and now my class is fully dedicated to Motorsports. So far today I've only learned a few aspects of the motorsports industry, and some briefing of what we are gonna learn for these 3 weeks (which is about the engine management system. So our instructor for this lesson was.... well I guess I can say that he is good. He knows a lot about car tuning and motorsports in general, and tries his best to teach us all that we need to know and more! Just hope that I can keep up with the class and do what he told us to do, because even as a helpful as he is, he sure is a bit strict on some things...

Anyhow, I still have no idea what else to expect from TOC this coming few weeks so I'll just have to do my best until then. Apart from this I didn't really do much for these past week weeks. Playing Midnight Club: Los Angeles Complete Edition, chatting with friends a lot online and just been doing nothing much online lol. I did want to write several posts on this blog about several topics but I'll just never know if I ever do get to post it since well, it being pointless hahaha....

Yeah yeah, if I ever do get to post them it certainly would be nothing much I guess. *sigh*

Tokyo Magnitude 8.0

Okay now, finally I got to watch some anime today and I do feel good about myself after watching an anime lol. Yeah, should have been more but I got caught up on so many things such as video games, friends and just about everything else that I wish I didn't waste my time on. Oh what-afking-ever, should talk about Tokyo Magnitude 8.0 yeah?

Well, to be honest I really didn't want to watch this at first and I did download this months ago and it was sitting inside my Hard Drive all the while. Heck, I downloaded and finished watching Queen's Blade after I downloaded this lol. But yeah, finally thought of watching this since it isn't that long (at 11 episodes) compared to the other anime I had on my hard drive. Anyway, lets really start talking about Tokyo Magnitude 8.0 and damn, I really didn't expect anything at all coming from this anime.

Why you ask? Well for one the story was just pretty epic in a sense that, unlike what most stories are based on, this is actually based on facts! Facts that in the event of Tokyo ever getting an earthquake with a size of 8.0 on the Richter scale, how would everyone cope with the situation, and how real the situation would be like. All very nice and hypothetically realistic, makes you wonder if 2012 will actually happen, hahaha..... Not that it will happen or anything, but who knows? Maybe it might just happen.....

So the story focuses on 3 main characters, which are Yūki Onozawa, Mirai Onozawa (who are both brother and sister obviously) and Mari Kusakabe who they met when they were going to some robot exhibition at Odaiba when suddenly the whole of Tokyo was hit by an earthquake. After the big earthquake has passed, they all had to stick together in order to get back to their home and many things happened along the way. Only reason why I'm saying this is just for the ending, which is pretty bittersweet if you watched this. Avoid reading it if you do not want to be spoiled (or read it anyhow if your interested).

Okay, pausing on the plot for a moment the other things I want to point out is that this is yet another noitaminA original animation series co-produced by Bones and Kinema Citrus. The other noitaminA I watched was of course Higashi no Eden, and you think they are similar! Of course it would since both anime are based around Tokyo, and does involve building collapses and stuff, haha. But sadly Tokyo Magnitude 8.0 was not as good as Higashi no Eden but still worth the watch none the less. I don't know..... it is good, but definitely not the best there is.

With that said though, I still think this is quite a good anime to watch in general. Sure not everything was perfect but none the less, if you like disaster films and whatnot then this is probably for you. But seriously, I just like it for the storyline and nothing else. The characters weren't that memorable or anything, nor is there any "moe" in it, but yeah that is what I think I guess, haha. I'm so speechless about describing this lol..... and now, the part that I wanted to talk about:

*spoiler starts*
So what is the spoiler then? Well if you watched pass the 8th episode of this anime then you would have probably noticed that Yūki Onozawa was ill and was admitted into the hospital right? And I think most people who watched until that part thinks that Yūki was alive right? But then at episode 10 I was dumbstruck to found out he died. I knew there was something fishy near the end of episode 9 and at the start of episode 10, but wow....... that was really some creative writing there haha. When I did watch episode 11 I kinda felt sorry for Mirai since she lost her only brother, who has always been close to her nearly all her life. It was terribly sad to be honest, there is nothing happy about it at all. Probably shed a lot of manly tears watching that part, and definitely one of the most touching and heartwarming moment in the anime. As I said before, it wasn't really a happy ending as many anime would be, but a bittersweet ending isn't bad either I guess...
*spoiler ends*

which leads me to this. When I finished watching Tokyo Magnitude 8.0, this song and one of the lyrics just hit my head like a ton of bricks and now I can't help but stop thinking about it!

A ghost of you is all that I have left, is all that I have left of you to hold. I wake in the night to find theres no one there but me, and nothing left of what we were at all...

Just fitting with the ending doesn't it? Someone needs to make an AMV with this anime and this song!!!

Wrong Stance x Wrong Fitment

Everything about it is just wrong I guess haha. Can't blame the owner for trying though, hey at least its something different!!!

Think the wheels are okay (tires could be stretch though), maybe even pull the fenders or have fender flares made so that the wheels are a bit more "flush" and definitely need to lower the car (the ride height was definitely higher than stock). Other than that I guess its okay for a cheaply modified Malaysian car, haha...

Some things I've just bought...

Which is nothing much really, haha. Well yeah, why do I post this here then? No reason, just so I could post something here, that is all.

Okay, so its a LG Internal/GH22 DVD Driver/Burner, an iCute sleeve bearing cooling fan and a "anti-static" wrist strap. Got myself another driver cause the current one I'm using is crap. Disc tray would not open normally (had to use the pin to force open it all the time!), could not detect black CD's or DVD's most of the time (which makes burning a hassle) and can't read some CD's and DVD's properly. Then the cooling fan had to be replaced cause my other one was broken (bearing was worn and made a really loud noise) and I've been using this PC for many months with just 1 fan lol! The wrist strap is just so I could work on my PC and not have a static shock while working on it, even though I do have no idea what static actually does to the PC...

... and some pics of the insides of my PC, and a pic of the cooling fan.

sadly I didn't get to replace the DVD driver since the one I bought used SATA/ATA cables which I don't have. Oh well, gonna go buy it tomorrow then.

Falling For You

Posted this on Facebook a few days ago, and I thought to myself I should just post it again here for fun! Hahahaha.... well its a really really old song by Student Rick called, if you read the title above, "Falling For You". It also appeared in the game Aggressive Inline which is how I first heard this song. I don't know about you guys but I just love this song so much right now!!! The fact that I loved this song back then (when I played that game) and I still love it now, shows how good this band is haha...

If anyone is interested, here are the lyrics:

this drowning sorrow is shaking me
more than it ever has before
the road signs reading bitter end
leave me suspect of a crime

the city air chokes me today
more than it ever has before
i’m nervous to feel deserved
by these street signs anymore

are you
going to
be waiting up when i get home
we’ll stay up all night
getting drunk and watching sunsets on our porch

i’m falling for you
i’m falling for you
i fell for you

these empty feelings question me
of who i think i’ve become
my mind is ticking life away
asking if you are the one

are you
going to
be waiting up when i get home
we’ll stay up all night
getting drunk and watching sunsets on our porch

i’m falling for you
i’m falling for you
i fell for you

i’m dying to explain my heart
to you now
i’m dying to explain my heart
to you now
there’s so much on my mind it’s tearing me apart
there’s so much on my mind it’s tearing me apart
i’m falling for you
i’m falling for you
i fell for you

God... those lyrics are just lovely aren't they?

Otaku Hardcore Revolution 3

Well I know I should have posted this weeks ago but I totally forgot about it!!! Seriously, I only remembered about this just yesterday lol. Anyway, the first part of the OHR3 has been played earlier today and boy was it just....... EPIC!!! If you people never knew about OHR then your missing quite a lot on this.

I know I'm not gonna spoil much about today's set, but I just have to say USAO and Shingo DJ just killed it honestly. Not to say the other DJ's are not that good or anything (in fact I think all the sets were awesome, except DJ The Charms' set cause he talks too much hahahaha.....) but its just with the 2 well established J-Core artists doing their thing, you know you are in for something special. If you did miss out on today's set, be sure to check the OHR site (link below) for the set downloads of some of the DJ playing today. I'm sure most of them will upload them soon enough.....

Anyhow, there is gonna be another day of OHR tomorrow so if you missed the one today then try not to miss tomorrow's set. M-Project will be playing tomorrow as well as DJ Rhythmics, Round Wave Crusher and several others so do go to their site and support the event. Its free and anyone can join in the chat while listening to the set playing.

Official Site
Set Schedules

Its Twenty-Ten!!! Happy New Year everyone!!!

Well I know I'm a bit late posting this but heh, I didn't have any internet whatsoever when I was on holiday so I couldn't go online at all!! Frigging hotel had to charge me RM57 just for a days worth of broadband, WTFH!!!? Anyway, that aside I would like to wish everyone a happy new year and hope whatever plans, dreams, achievements or whatever it is on your mind will be achieved this year.

Well actually I did planned to post several things prior to leaving for my holidays, but since there was no internet that plan got ruined horribly. Well whatever, I'll post those things in a few days time so just look forward to it then haha. Anyway, my holiday in Johor Bahru was okay in a sense that I did enjoy myself out there quite a bit, but sadly though I got sick from the first day and as the days past my illness has gotten worse! Luckily though, I did manage to go to Singapore for a day and spend the whole day going around Singapore looking for things to eat and of course, shopping at Orchard Road lol. However with how bad the currency was (and the lack of time) I really didn't get to buy anything much nor did I get to buy the things that I wanted to buy.

Also I didn't take much pictures on this trip either lol, cause I'm just too reluctant to take out my camera and snap something. But I did manage to snap several pictures, but then again its not really that interesting hahahaha....

Yeah yeah, I'll save my rants on another post. Until then, have fun in the year 2010 people and reminiscent of what a year 2009 was.....

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