Archive for September 2013

At September's End...

Finally September is coming to an end. It might have been a long wait, but I guess with all the ups and downs I had to deal with this month, I can finally put it all behind me and concentrate on the next 3 months. October couldn't come any sooner, and November & December are the months that are really important to me to pull everything through. Hopefully I can get a job within the next 2 weeks, otherwise I might be in deep sh*t both financially and planning wise as well. I practically need enough money to scrape my cosplay stuff for Comic Fiesta, and right now I only have enough budget to do 1 costume. However I'll try my best to pull off all the stops and get 2 costumes done in time. Also there is also some other stuff I need to pay up for as well other expenditures so a job is really much needed now, probably more than ever!

Anyhow, I don't wanna rant too much on this post so I guess I'll just keep things short and sweet. Right now I guess I should put the relationship sh*t behind me and just focus on being myself and concentrate on getting a job, as well as my ongoing goal of becoming better at BMX and also lose even more weight than I already have. (losing 15kgs in a month is quite something ya know?) Plus with the cosplay stuff to deal with within November and December I guess I might have my hands busy juggling many things. Work (if I do land a job somewhere), studying Japanese, riding BMX, cosplay, and whatever stuff I will get myself into throughout the remaining part of 2013. At least no one can complain about my life being dull anymore after this...

Also while doing this blog post I managed to found a band called "End Of September" which I have no idea it existed until now. Currently giving them a listen on Spotify and well, its not too bad I guess. Kinda reminds me of Evanescence & Eyes Set To Kill a bit, but its nowhere near hardcore metal stuff with all the growls and sh*t. But its kinda cool listening to something new from time to time... (as if having over 7000 artists/bands to listen to isn't enough!) Here is probably one of their hit songs on Youtube, and you go and decide if its worth listening to or not.

Oh, and I think I'll end this post with this. After riding for the past 2-3 months I finally decided to do something more drastic on my BMX bike and finally replaced the heavy Sunday Bikes hi-ten steel handlebar and fork for these more lightweight and stronger full chromoly Impurity Bike Co parts. I haven't really get to test and abuse them just yet, but I'll find out later tonight if they are worth it. They do make my bike lighter yes, but it also made my wallet lighter as well... xD

September Syndrome (Alternate Version)

To be honest, I never really wanted to write this blog post. But I guess since the month of September is coming to an end soon, I probably got a few more days left to make it count. Also I promised myself to actually do this since last month actually, so I guess I can't back down now that I'm already writing this. Also some might notice this is an "alternate version" of what is basically the same topic and blog title. But I have my reasons why I didn't post the original one up, all will be explained towards the end of this post.

So... what is September Syndrome then? Well... it could probably be about the stock exchange or even about the Usenet phenomenon. But as much as those two topics are related to this blog title, this isn't practically what I wanted to talk about. Nope, this is a more personal September Syndrome. This is probably just me having to deal with the hardship that I had to deal with for over the past month. Sometimes I just wish I slept at the end of August and never wake up until October actually arrives...

But here I am, still awake near towards the end on September having to deal with all the bullsh*t that life throws at me. It has been pretty much a struggle getting my life back together after the relationship fallen apart near the end of August, but at least I somewhat made it. Sure... my life is as messed up as it was back in February, but its only worse now since I'm short on cash and I still have yet to found a job after I quit working at the pub as a DJ. Sometimes I do wonder what if I didn't quit the job and continued working, but then again... I probably won't be here blogging either.

If anyone wondered... what kinda happened after I broke up anyhow? Well, apart from my life being reset to zero again I guess I haven't been doing much to move on, but instead just doing random stuff of interest to pass the time away. Hanging out with family and friends, helping out my mom (mostly), ride bmx and just going online and also occasionally playing video games. Was mostly interested in playing GT5, but there was a week when I played nothing but Valkyria Chronicles from morning to morning for 5-6 days straight haha! After I finished the game which I held back for so long, it was kinda satisfying feeling to help get myself back together. Now I wonder what game I should be playing next. I know GTA V is out now and I do feel like I wanna get one, but I think I might try playing (and finish) GTA IV and Red Dead Redemption on my Xbox 360 first. I've abandoned those games for way too long as well, and I really don't wanna bother with real life and just wanna escape reality, no?

Also besides that, I kinda tried getting a job again after trying to put off for so long. But sadly I never had any luck landing a job yet. So far I already send my resume to several car companies around Glenmarie in Shah Alam, but out of all the places I tried applying I only got 2 responds from there. One was Peugeot which also did an open interview day (when I actually arrived there were already 55 other people who actually was applying a job there too!) on Sunday (which also clashes with a certain someone's birthday party, as well as my brother's birthday) and well, I guess it went okay. Although I did kinda screw up the entire plan that day (especially regarding that one person's birthday party, but she didn't seem to care about me at the time that is a given) but at least I somewhat survive the whole ordeal. Then there was the interview with BMW the following day and well... it was quite an eye opener. After having a lengthy talk with the head of aftersales, he kinda told me to go and chase my dreams instead of applying work there and maybe not handle the pressure of being a technician. Although I do get what he was saying, but since I'm kinda short on cash and support from anyone I was hoping I could at least work and earn the money and miraculously get myself into some sort of racing program. Either way, both companies told me I might get a call within next week or so for a second interview. However if I don't get a reply within the following week I guess I'll try applying elsewhere, heck I might even have to settle working with some smaller workshop in Sunway if I have to. Sure for my qualification I should be getting more pay or whatever, but since its not getting me anywhere I guess I should just apply anywhere where they can accept me and just have to deal with the shitty pay and long working hours. I need to sacrifice myself and my time anyhow, I've been living my life as a NEET for way too long...

Apart from the interviews, another sort of good news was I managed to pass my Japanese level 2 a few weeks back. (some might have noticed it on FB, Instagram and/or Twitter) Since I managed to passed I was thinking if I should continue or probably hold back until I could get a job first, but seems like my parents were keen on seeing me continue and so... with my parent's blessing (and their money) I decided to continue my Japanese class and just last Monday I started my level 3. There were also 2 other classmates that managed to pass so at least I'm not alone in the class with my sensei, haha. At least with this, I can somewhat still have some hope of moving to Japan even though financially wise right now its not really possible. But I think judging from my first class its not gonna be easy. Definitely more difficult than my previous 2 levels. On the upside, if I do managed to master my Japanese within the next year or 2, I can really open up the possibilities of living in Japan as a student (actually I do plan on continuing my studies, but as I'm financially not able to I wanted to work first and build up my experience here before moving there and maybe get a degree or master... if the need arises that is) or even get a job in the automotive industry there. (pretty sure its a lot better compared to here in Malaysia) All things aside, I should not get too carried away on my future and just focus on the present for now. Try my best to get a job somewhere and also do my best to cope up with my Japanese classes.

While the previous 2-3 paragraphs kinda doesn't really seem like I'm sad or unhappy, but as I said... its only for me to past the time. Happiness doesn't really last long in reality, and I can easily just get depressed over something within seconds or minutes after that something happen, and here I go now blabbering about my emo sh*t lol. While it might only been a month, many things did kinda happen to both of us know? I don't know much about her side of the story, but judging from the way she tweets and posts on FB she does seem to do a lot better than me in a way. In a way I do feel kinda glad she is doing a lot better than me, and at least she does seem like she has a sense of purpose in life now. Someone like me will just drag her down and stop her from doing what she really wants to do anyhow, and despite her parents still being the same at least there isn't much drama (as I noticed anyhow) as when I was with her during the past 6 or so months when we were together.

Maybe I'm just a nuisance to her after all? I guess after I did block her on FB/Twitter things started to turn bad between us, and seems like even when I did unblock her things only got worse each time we talked. I don't really know why, but I practically always end up being in an argument with her whenever we talked be it in person, on FB/Twitter or even sms so I guess I kinda gotten the cold shoulder since she started ignoring me some 1-2 weeks ago. Its kinda understandable really, as I don't really wanna talk to her right now either for fear of upsetting her even more. Despite some of the stuff she posts or chat with that certain someone who she loves to be with ever since we broke up pisses me off a lot, but its her choice really and maybe I should try to be more understanding. (I'm kinda bad dealing these kind of things, and I still regard this as my first ever break-up so I can't really tell myself what to do here) Anyhow, its gonna take me a really long time to get over this feeling and I hope with all the stuff I need to focus on now I can get my mind off this whole bullsh*t and get my normal life back together. Also I hope its the same with you too, and with your SPM just around the corner I do hope you don't have other people distracting you. (I clearly am trying my best to do that anyhow, just so you might know)

In the end, it doesn't matter what you wanna say about me or if you wanna erase me from your memories. Do keep in mind that I will never forget you or the times that we were together, but I think I'm losing hope of being with you again as the days, weeks and months passing by. At least you seem happy being with someone else at the moment (even though you kept saying he is just a friend), and you already have plenty of friends both online and in real life to be with so I have less reasons to worry about you. As for me, I'm just gonna stay single for as long as I can and keep chasing my dreams and goals. Also I do have my own family and friends to be there with me, so its not like its gonna be the end of the world for me. (not yet anyhow) I'm not really sure if we'll be able to meet again, and even if we do meet up again I really am not sure how the situation is gonna be then. Will you already be with someone else by then? Will you be come running back to me? Whatever the situation is, I hope neither of us have any bad feelings regarding each other when we do see each other again. Sure I might have caused a lot of problems for you and also some of your friends, and I really do apologize for all the misunderstandings and wrong doings I've done to you and your family and friends. Not sure if you ever regretted being with me, but I sure don't and in fact, I feel really bad for mistreating you during some of those times that we were together. Its gonna be difficult to find someone else to replace you after this, but I'm gonna be pretty damn sure you will be the last Malay girl I'll ever be with if I have to move on. (yes, there might be a small possibility that I might end up with another Malay but I think I already clearly set my mind that I don't wanna be with another Malay after this. Only if a few certain conditions needs to be fulfilled before I can even consider, and even then... its a small likely chance I'll accept her)

Relationships can be tough I guess, but this is all a part and parcel of life for everyone. Sure some might live their lives much easier than others, but at least I did learn a lot along the way that might help be become a better person. Hopefully I can continue on after this and set my priorities on what I really wanna do. So far my short term goal is definitely landing myself a job, lose more weight and try to get myself fit and get better in bmx as well. There might also be a few other smaller short-term goals in mind, but I don't think its worth mentioning here just yet. Oh, and before I end this post soon I'm kinda sure some of you might wanna know why this is an "alternate version" and not the original. The reason why I kept the original post and not post it up is because I just have too much "hate" written in the post and I think it will make the situation look a lot worse than it is now. Not really sure if I'm gonna post it elsewhere or just keep it in my computer, but lets just say that some things are better left unsaid. =)

Anyhow, thanks for reading everyone. It might just be a repeat of some of my previous blog posts but its still no less a blog post regarding my interestingly mundane life. On the bright side at least September is coming to and end soon and I can definitely look forward to next month. With just a quarter of 2013 left many good things can come my way and I will definitely be focused on getting some things done in the next few months! Just gonna end this post here with this video here. It doesn't really mean anything now, but I guess its a bittersweet way to end this post.

Rush: Hunt vs. Lauda

Haha, honestly its been a while since I last did a review like this on my blog but I really wanted to do this one since the movie was just too good to pass up writing upon. There is nothing more I like than a good "car" movie, one which actually is based around Formula 1 and has a certain truth to it! There has been a lot of rivalry in F1 over the years, and although the rivalry between James Hunt and Niki Lauda isn't as intense as say, Ayrton Senna and Alain Prost, Rush managed to show everything great about F1 in the 70's. Where the drivers drove like real men, risking their lives race after race, and what happens on and off the track is all about personality and self expression. Its not like today where everything is so well organized and having regulations spoiling the fun.

Anyhow, I don't really wanna go into too much detail regarding F1 or even about the movie but basically the movie is about the heated battle between James Hunt and Niki Lauda during the 1976 season and what they had to deal with throughout the season. There is plenty of action throughout the movie and the racing itself is pretty good too! (its F1, what do you expect?) You're not gonna see some CG overload or one of those cheesy scenes like in Fast & Furious, oh no... this is all pure balls out racing and nothing else. Also there is nothing sweeter than the sound of a Formula 1 engine either, haha. So the story itself is pretty good, the characters are also portrayed very well to their real life counterpart (Chris Hemsworth as James Hunt & Daniel Brühl as Niki Lauda respectively) and the soundtrack (done no less by the ever talented Hans Zimmer) and you already have a recipe for a really good movie. I would gladly say this is probably one of the movies to watch this year and I won't be too surprised if this movie won an award or two.

While watching this movie throughout, I can say I feel very satisfied watching this. All sorts of emotions just went through me and at the end I just felt very inspired. This movie will teach you a lot regarding how dangerous motorsport really is and what it takes to become a racing driver, and that you really need to have the balls in order to take a car such as those F1 cars in the 70's and push it way past the limits. Somehow I wished I could be a racing driver back then and even be in their shoes for a bit. Its dangerous, but as quoted by the late James Hunt; "The closer you are to death, the more alive you feel" and I think this the more reason why I wanted to become a racing driver. Sure things today might have been more safer and restricted, but it doesn't make it any less dangerous! (as proven by the passing of the late Allan Simonsen at Le Mans last June) So yeah... I'd rather risk my life as a racing driver than to live a boring and mundane life like everyone else. (but I guess I'll save that for another blog post in the future)

Overall... what do I think about the movie? I'd say its fabulous and totally worth watching. Sure it might not be for everyone, but you can still appreciate all the effort they put into making this movie and judging by the reviews, its been praised quite well actually. So yeah... its not a matter of if you like cars or F1 or even racing in general, (it helps a lot if you're into it though, lol) but once you've watched this then you know what was so great about F1 or pretty much anything motorsport related things were back then (and maybe to a certain point, even today) and who knows... maybe I'll inspire you to break your boring habits and try to do something adventurous for once?

I'll probably give this movie an 8 out of 10, maybe even an 8.5 if I'm cheeky. Only thing why I can't give it a full 9 or even a 10 is only because I feel like the movie is a bit too fast (to me anyhow) and somehow during the time I watched at the cinema they had way too many parts being cut out. (there are other reasons too, but its not worth pointing out) I guess I'll have to wait until the blu-ray release to be out so I can enjoy watching this again. =P

Who Am I?

So really... who am I?
I'm not the person who I used to be.
Then what kind of person was I?
For all I know, I am not me.

So where did it all go wrong?
Does changing or remaining the same come at a cost?
On the outside I might look normal and strong,
But deep inside, I'm broken down and lost.

I might have many hobbies and personalities,
But as many "me" as there is, I'm still one person.
As much as I don't like dealing with problems and responsibilities,
I still have to carry on living my life, and for what reason?

They say you could be anything you want.
Quite sadly though, nothing is easy as it seems.
The reality is, my dreams are only dreams... nothing different.
Like a fictional story, being published by the reams.

If I could find the old me somewhere within myself,
I would tell him to wake up and help my current self.
If knowledge is like a book, then life is like a bookshelf.
I could go back in time to live my old life, then again... I'm not an elf.

To be in the present, finding my past to move on to the future,
Then what do I do if I managed to found myself from long ago?
Would I dither about moving forward into an imminent world which is obscure?
I don't know... only time will tell if its worth a go.

"Will the real Muzaffar Musa, please stand up" is what I always wonder,
And I wonder... when will the real Muzaffar Musa revive back to his former identity?
Many people might know me for many things, some more than others... I ponder.
I think no one knows the real me, me included. In darkness, with no electricity.

Back to the question of my origin, regarding yours truly.
Am I really am still the same person today?
Its hard to imagine, but I can't answer it truthfully.
Because I might not be the same person in another day.

September the 11th: 12 years ago, today...

12 years has passed so fast huh? Pretty sure most people won't even remember the significance of this day today, but for those who remembered... or worse still, who was severely affected by this tragic event then they will absolutely know what today is all about. Yeah... its quite a taboo topic to discuss about regardless of who you are or where you're from, but its also important to remember that this time 12 years ago, it was an event that shook the world and changed the course of history forever...

There might have been plenty of controversies (and even some might say, conspiracy theories) around the 9/11 attack, but it will always mark the day when many innocent lives were taken away as well as the start of the middle eastern war which is still ongoing even until today. Yup, just this one event turned the whole world into chaos. Many other related events might have happened after that day and throughout the years, but this has always been the catalyst for the many things that has happened right now that we never realized. But I don't really wanna go deep into this topic for fear of offending many people, but its a part of history that all of us should probably remember and honor.

Seems like yesterday when I was at home doing my own thing (was playing video games on my PS1 I think?) then suddenly my mom was asking me to go inside her room to watch the news on CNN regarding the airplane that crashed into the World Trade Center, with another plane crashing into the other WTC building later as well as the Pentagon in a similar time. I was only 10 years old at the time and was still in primary school, and yet I could clearly see all the carnage and chaos that happened on TV. Especially the part when the 2 towers collapse in such a mannerly fashion as if it was planned to fall down that way. Kinda remembered how it was even a hot topic at school with all my classmates, the other students and even teachers were talking about it. That next few weeks you could say everyone was glued to the TV or internet trying to keep up with the news regarding the attack and what Osama bin Laden's next move was. Its just unbelievable how everything like that happened back then and almost had the whole world standing still. But of course, because of that almost every country had to be on high alert for "terrorists" and also made any Muslims difficult to travel anywhere, especially the United States.

Time is a funny thing ya know? Regardless of what is going out around us, time just keeps moving on... and before we know it, years just passed by in a blink of an eye. At times I feel like I've been left behind by time, and yet... time could also slow down when you least want it to. Doesn't matter I guess... it might be 9/11 today, but tomorrow is gonna be just another day for everyone else and continue going to school or work or whatever that people do with their lives. As for me, I don't really have a plan to do anything, but I guess I should move on and do something too.

These articles might be of some interest too regarding today:
Five Things to Know for Your New Day - Wednesday, September 11
On September 11, I have a question for Tony Blair
Firefighters remember September 11
Sept 11: Twelve years on, Americans still remember
September 11, 2013: Americans Plan Solemn Ceremonies Commemorating 9/11 Attacks
September 11 anniversary: ceremonies in New York, Pennsylvania and at the Pentagon

Formula Drift Malaysia 2013: The very first time I actually attended a drift event!!!

Yeah, kinda sad isn't it? Even though I've been following drifting for pretty much a long time, but after all these years this is probably the first time I actually made an effort to attend an actual drift event! Although the event just happened last week on Sunday, but the memories are here to stay with me for the weeks and months to come... and maybe even until the next Formula Drift event in Malaysia! Anyhow, I don't know if I wanna give the full detail of the event or just a short summary, but I'll try my best to explain the event from my personal point of view.

So the day started off with me knowing about the event a week before the actual event started and since I had no other events clashing with FD I gave some thoughts if I wanted to go or not. Back then I was still 50-50 whether or not if I will be going. But then on that Saturday before the event I just got the nod from my parents saying there wasn't anything to do so I went and bought the ticket just a day before the actual event started lol. So I bought the ticket, got my stuff prepare and earlier that morning on Sunday I went ahead and went to Formula Drift Malaysia at Speed City KL! (and yes, this is also the first time I've been to SCKL after years of having to postpone my visit lol) The drive from my place to Speed City KL took about 15-20 minutes by car while driving through the Shah Alam Highway, but its also quite expensive as you have to pay RM2 for the toll... twice! (and that makes it RM8 for the whole trip to and from) But once I reach there I didn't care much about the toll or even the parking (which was RM5 for the whole day, not bad I guess) but I was really looking forward to seeing the whole event. Even when I was outside the gate I could already hear the cars drifting, the screeching tires and the smell of burnt rubber lol.

So after parking my car and meeting up with my friend there, we queued up to enter the place but sadly they had a policy of no food or drinks allowed in the event. Even a bottle of water wasn't allowed which was kinda sad really... as the expect us to pay for the food and drinks inside, which was a bit ridiculously expensive. (for us locals anyhow) But apart from that, I didn't really have any problems entering, and as soon as we were inside the event area I quickly took out my sister's camera and started shooting nearly every car and booth I see lol. While I just did the normal photo taking like everyone else, my friend did it a bit differently and used his (and mine which I borrowed him) nendoroids to take photos of the cars and drivers. Meh, I didn't care much for it but he did get a lot of weird looks doing it haha. But yeah, it was kinda cool to see some of those cars up close as well as taking photos with the drivers who I admire since way back ago, especially Fredric Aasbo (pic above), Masao Suenaga, Daigo Saito, Daijiro Yoshihara and a few others.

Also met a few friends I've made back when I was doing training and internship back in college as well as a few other friends throughout the day as the event went along. Before I know it, it was already noon and the qualifying was long over. There was also a small concert during the event but I didn't take much notice of it. However I did remember there being an autograph session later that afternoon, and I managed to catch the queue very early on lol. When it was already like 1pm I think the queue was almost all the way to the back of the area and near the exit lol. Glad I got quite a lot of autographs and free goods that day, I mean... its totally worth more than the ticket I actually pay for! Gotta say the drivers in Formula Drift are some of the kindest and down-to-earth people I've gotten to see up close and personal with. You just can't beat the hospitality that Formula Drift provides, and its kinda easy to see why a lot of people love going to these events year after year.

After that me and my friend decided to go out for a bit to catch a break and find somewhere less hot to sit down and talk a bit, and then I decided to head out a bit to find some place to get cheaper food and drinks while also finding a place to do my Zohor prayers. After we did all that we managed to get back before the main top 16 event started, and we headed back in. The weather did look like it was gonna be pouring anytime soon, but thankfully that happen latter on during the event. (more on that later) But after the national anthem was played and the top 16 introduction was over it was time for the actual battle to begin. Now I'm not really gonna go over every detail regarding all the battles, but I was kinda shocked to see both Daigo and Aasbo being knocked out in the top 16. Also kinda sad to see Djan having to settle with 4th place after an almost flawless run throughout the day. But the biggest surprise was seeing this one Thai driver called "S" (yes, that is his name lol. Okay, but not his real name obviously) driving the Westlake S13 to the win against Tom Monkhouse in his newly bought (or borrowed, can't really remember) JZX110 Toyota Verossa, which was previously owned by an ex D1GP driver who was driving for T&E Vertex. (can't remember the name of the driver, but I kept mistaking it for Tohru Inose for some reason when clearly it was not! But yeah... still very knowledgeable in the drifting world even though I don't keep up as much as before) I could clearly tell it was an ex-D1GP car just by the livery and body kit lol. (apparently the team didn't change the livery or color and just added an Archilles sticker for sponsoring sake)

Anyhow, after the main event and podium celebration was over I was hoping I could see the team battle go on, but after 2 teams just went out it started raining heavily and the competition had to be cancelled and before we know it the event was over while the rain kept continuously pouring and the whole area was flooded lol. Then I also got to take a few more pictures with a few more drivers, waited for a bit and even chatted with a driver or two while waiting for the rain to stop. When it finally stopped I clearly noticed a lot of people already went back, but I still had one more thing to do before I could go home happily, and that was meeting up with Larry Chen of Speedhunters fame. I managed to meet up with him earlier that day and he even gave me a few "official" Speedhunters sticker, but I still wanted to meet up with him, take a picture and maybe even have a small chat with him. So when the chance arrived, I managed to do all that and then some! Haha... my small dream of meeting up with a Speedhunter crew was finally fulfilled but now I guess I should aim for something a bit more bigger. I might have been "featured" in an article or two but I think I still haven't made any major contributions to that website just yet. But good to know I'm still following that website after all these years... =)

Well I guess that should be enough talk about the event. I managed to do what I want, I got more than what I bargained for and I definitely went home with a happy face with having to deal with personal issues for that whole week. I will definitely look forward to the next Formula Drift event, and who knows... maybe one day I can be competing in the event myself against my heroes too. ^_^

Anyhow, if anyone else wants to see some of the photos me and my friend took or interested to know about the results or the event in even more detail, you can check the links below:
My gallery (Facebook)
My friend's gallery (Facebook)
Mat Canyon's gallery (Facebook)
Coverage from Larry Chen on Speedhunters
Formula Drift Asia coverage
Zerotohundred coverage

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